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Posted 7 months ago with 117083 notes

perhats:

I say shit like “If my memory serves me” knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

Posted 7 months ago with 42639 notes

guerrillatech:

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Posted 7 months ago with 96380 notes

kaijuno:

kaijuno:

kaijuno:

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Boyfriend tells me I’m banned from fixing things around the house now >:(

God forbid women do anything

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Where do u think I got the afterburner lol

Posted 8 months ago with 16641 notes

theconcealedweapon:

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Posted 8 months ago with 41569 notes

theconcealedweapon:

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Posted 8 months ago with 43226 notes

guerrillatech:

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Posted 8 months ago with 21709 notes

guerrillatech:

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Posted 8 months ago with 103762 notes

biglawbear:

mommyhorror:

sleepy-bebby:

Steph:"my dad took over my hamster once i went back to college and ended up getting really attached and today he escaped and this goes to prove how truly pure my father is"ALT
Texts between Steph and her dad about her hamster going missing. Padre:”Please call me a soon as you get this it's an emergency” Steph: “dad do not freak out it's just a hamster!! we will find him” Padre:”Oh my God I'm so sorry honey” “I'm so sorry l'm looking everywhere” “Im so wicked sorry I'II keep looking all day” “I Can't believe this.”ALT
Padre:”This is the absolute worst ever” “I'm Never going to forgive myself if he doesn't come back” “Should I keep looking for him or is that going to scare him into hiding” “If I can't find him today I'm not going to work tomorrow so I can keep looking” Steph:”Dad- he's just a hamster i don't blame you at ALL. you shouldn't skip work you are a lawyer and he is a hamster”ALT
Picture of a hamster enclosure with food and a ring of flour arranged around the food. Steph:”that looks good” “what's the white arc of bedding for? or is that bedding? what is that” Padre:”Flour So I can see his footsteps if he comes to get the food” Steph:”oh that's smart” Padre:”So I know he's still alive” Steph:”that's smart”ALT
Padre:”I'm so sorry steph” “This is my biggest screwup ever. I will make it right” Steph:”No it's not” Padre:”I put him in his ball a whole bunch of times I should have double checked” “God is good I will trust him” “I know he likes peanut butter” “Peanuts” “That's a start”ALT
follow up: He did find him!!!ALT
Picture of Steph’s dad holding the hamster Steph:”OMG” “DID YOU GET HIM??” Padre:”Yes” “In his cage” “Are you effing kidding me”ALT
Picture of the hamster jumping up towards Steph’s dad Padre:”The little bastard is trying to get out again” Steph:”arrest him” Padre:”This was the most stressful day in my life since I took the bar exam” “Night”ALT

”you are a lawyer he is a hamster” 😭😭😭😭

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Losing my mind rn

Posted 8 months ago with 46284 notes

guerrillatech:

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Posted 8 months ago with 37694 notes

guerrillatech:

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Posted 8 months ago with 88788 notes

that-gay-ass-frog:

zvaigzdelasas:

zvaigzdelasas:

me turning the world communist

huh maybe i should get through more than half the video before commenting

Im laughing so hard oh my god

Posted 8 months ago with 8516 notes

thestuffieguardian:

I pray the next book you pick up & begin reading, engulfs you in the best way possible

Posted 8 months ago with 61157 notes

rouge-the-bat:

“can we normalize-” NO!!!!!! we do not need to expand whats considered normal!!! we need to teach people to stop reacting judgmentally when encountering something new and weird!!!! things dont need to be normal to be respected!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 8 months ago with 23827 notes

guerrillatech:

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Posted 8 months ago with 41660 notes

guerrillatech:

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Nice

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